You’re sharing an exciting story with a Japanese colleague.
As you speak, they look you directly in the eye, nod frequently, and interject with a constant stream of “Hai… hai… un… naruhodo… hai.”
(Yes… yes… uh-huh… I see… yes.)
You feel fantastic.
They are completely captivated.
They agree with everything you’re saying!
But later, you find out they had a completely different opinion, or didn’t quite follow your main point.
What gives?
Were they lying to you?
No.
You’ve just experienced the subtle and powerful art of “Aizuchi” (相槌).
And it’s probably the single biggest source of miscommunication between Japanese and non-Japanese people.
Are They Agreeing With Everything? Decoding the Art of “Aizuchi”
The Most Important Rule: Aizuchi is Not Agreement
Let’s get this straight right away.
When a Japanese person nods and says “hai,” it does not necessarily mean “I agree.”
99% of the time, it simply means, “I am listening. I am following you. Please continue.”
In many Western cultures, the listener is expected to stay silent until the speaker has finished their point.
Interjecting is often seen as rude.
In Japan, it’s the opposite.
Silence from the listener is considered rude.
It can make the speaker feel anxious, wondering, “Are they even listening? Do they understand me?“
Aizuchi is the oil that keeps the engine of conversation running smoothly.
It’s the listener’s job to constantly send signals to the speaker that the channel is open and the message is being received.
Think of it like a game of catch.
The speaker throws the ball (their words), and the listener uses Aizuchi to show they’ve caught it, before throwing it back.
The Basic Aizuchi Toolkit
You’ll hear a variety of Aizuchi in Japan.
Here are some of the most common ones:
Hai (はい): The basic “yes” or “uh-huh.”
Un (うん): A more casual version of “hai.” Used with friends.
Ee (ええ): A slightly more formal version of “hai.”
Naruhodo (なるほど): “I see,” “That makes sense.” This shows a deeper level of understanding.
Sou desu ne (そうですね): “That’s right,” or “I see what you mean.”
Along with these words, you’ll see constant, gentle nodding.
Again, this is not a sign of agreement, but a non-verbal “I’m with you.”
My Advice: Put Your New Skills to the Test
The best way to truly understand Aizuchi is to experience it in a real, casual conversation.
Of course, that can be intimidating.
A great way to do this is by joining a “bar hopping” tour, which are popular in areas like Shinjuku’s Golden Gai or in Osaka.
You’ll be with a local guide and a small group, moving between tiny, friendly bars.
It’s the perfect, low-pressure environment to chat with locals and practice your newfound communication skills.
You’ll see Aizuchi in action, and you can even try a few “naruhodo“s yourself!
My Final Word: Listen for the Silence
So, if Aizuchi doesn’t mean “I agree,” how can you tell when a Japanese person really agrees?
Often, you need to listen for what is not said.
If you make a proposal and the response is a long pause, followed by a vague “muzukashii kamo shiremasen” (it might be difficult), that is a very clear “no.”
Understanding Aizuchi is not just about listening to the sounds.
It’s about learning to hear the silence in between.
It’s a challenging but fascinating part of communicating in Japan.
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Now that you know about active listening, what about the things Japanese people don’t say?
The concept of “Honne and Tatemae,” the two “faces” of a Japanese person, is the next step in your journey.
Honne & Tatemae: Cracking the Code of the Two Japanese “Faces”
